Jolly Roger
by Siarh
Summary: Jayne has a secret, one River tries to get him to admit to. DARK fic. DARK DARK DARK fic. Especially Chapter 2. Warning: Dark, implied non-con, main character death, blood, rape, drinking. Did I mention dark?
1. Chapter 1

"CRAZY!"

Jayne's voice echoed through the whole of Serenity. He stormed down the hallway, past Zoe, who he hardly even noticed.

"What did she do now?" she heard Wash ask as she entered the bridge.

His wife just shrugged her shoulders as she sat down in the co-pilot chair.

Jayne meanwhile headed for River's bunk, thundering his fist against the door frame, rattling it. "Open the gorram door girl. I know you are in there. I can smell you." His hand slammed repeatedly on the door. When she didn't open the door, Jayne wrapped his large hand around the handle and pulled. With a steady amount of pressure he was able to pop the door off its hinges, coming out in his hands. Tossing it to the side, he strode into the room. No rutting girl in the room.

He overturned her bed, searching through the bedding. He pulled everything off the shelf, searching for something. By the time Simon arrived in the door, everything River owned on Serenity was in the middle of the floor. "What are you doing?"

Jayne's angry eyes flashed to the doc. "I'm gonna to kill that sister of yours. Where she at?"

Simon stepped in the room. "Calm down," he put his hands out toward the enraged untrained ape man. "What is the problem?"

"She was in my ruttin' room and she took somethin' of mine."

Simon didn't move as Jayne towered over him but he couldn't help the shakes that racked his body. The bigger man simply shoved the doctor out of the way.

Jayne heard River before he saw her. The pitter patter of bare feet darting up the stairs in the cargo bay. Storming into the room, he watched her scurry through the maze of catwalks and stairs, giggling and shrieking as when her eyes met his. "Gorramit girl, where did you put it?" It clearly wasn't in her hands.

She dashed into the empty shuttle, still laughing at him.

"I'm too ruttin' old for this shit," he muttered, heading slowly up.

"There a problem Jayne?" Mal called from below.

"Nothin' I can't take cara with a few broken fingers," he replied gruffly not looking at the captain.

"What'd she take?"

"Leave it go," Jayne warned. "T's 'twn me and the girl."

"She aint gonna be the one with broken fingers if'n I do that," Mal asserted.

Jayne just ignored him and walked toward the open door of the shuttle. It was silent and he approached with hands at the ready. Wrapping his fingers around the door way, he carefully moved into the darkened shuttle, shutting and locking the door behind him. And then he simply waited. He stayed put waiting until she let herself be known.

"Toys are to be played with Jayne," her voice echoed off the walls through the darkness.

"I Know it."

Her tiny hand shot out into the room, around the arm of an old beat up teddy bear. "He wants to play with you. Not be your secret keeper."

Jayne didn't answer, just stepped forward, reaching for the animal. "Give it here, girl!" he growled menacingly. The bear was winged away and tucked behind her back. "You ain't got a right to it."

"Him," River calmly corrected as she darted out of his way. "He has a name too. A name you gave him."

Jayne's scowl deepened. "You need to stay out of my ruttin' head."

River danced further toward the door. "Didn't have to. Roger told me."

"Give. Him. Here," he spat out through gritted teeth. River simply twirled out of his grasp, his hand catching only the hem of her swirling skirt. She ran from him but was a step too slow. Jayne's arm caught her, sending her to the ground with him in tow. Scrambling, she held the bear will above her head. Jayne scaled up her body and snatched the bear.

River used the distraction to her advantage and wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles and squeezing his middle to get his attention. Bear firmly in his grasp, Jayne then tried pushing at her legs. "Gorramit girl, what is your problem?" River giggled and tightened her hold.

"Roger wants to be treated as he was when you were child. Before. Like your friend," she said plain as day.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"And old dog can relearn old tricks," she instead as she let him go. Jayne pushed her out of the way and back to the floor. "Its not who you are," she whispered.

Ignoring her, Jayne unlocked the door and headed immediately for his bunk. Once behind the secured door, he laid the bear face down on his bed. With a pair of well used scissors and tweezers, Jayne carefully undid the stitches on the bears back. Once Roger lay open from nape of neck to his little nub of a tail, Jayne peered inside, and found everything still there.

The drugs he had picked up on Whitefall. The ones he was careful to take for fear the others would notice a change in him. Jayne had no choice. He wanted to maintain that he was indeed human and not the monster he had become long before he came to Serenity. The bear reminded him of the human he used to be. Someone with a beating heart who actually felt emotion. Not this cold hearted creature that sat in his bunk, wishing it would all go away.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking in the same mood he fell asleep in, Jayne threw the sheet off of his form and grabbed for his britches. Hoisting them up his legs, he stuck his feet in his boots as he fastened the fly, his brain still in a fog of sleep. His stomach told him it was feeding time but he didn't know which meal time it actually was. They didn't keep much to time when they were in the black, Jayne least of all.

Sitting back down, he reached under the blanket and produced Roger, the stuffed bear he had had with him since he left home. Holding the bear with his fingers, Jayne's thumbs parted the seam in the back, revealin' the syringe, extra needles and a vial of grayish blue liquid. He could use one of the high pressure contraptions that Simon had in the Infirmary that left little marking and was easier to use, but Jayne chose the old way for two reasons. Ease of concealment. It hid much easier in Rogers' back than the bulky injectors. The other reason was the pain. The pain the needle caused entering his skin, his muscle, was a reminder, a payment of sorts to what he was fighting, what he was trying to keep at bay.

He knew it was only a matter of time before he would have to take his leave from being around people. But for now this medication kept the creature in check. Pulling a small tin form his weapon cleaning kit, Jayne fished a needle and thread out and carefully, meticulously, began sewing the bear's back closed. He had to be sure that no one outside of crazy found out his little secret. If wind of this got to Mal, he would give Jayne the tour of the airlock he'd been promised since the first time Mal caught Jayne's eyes on lil' Kaylee's tits. Man really didn't have a sense of humor.

Job done and bear restuffed under the blankets, Jayne stood and walked to the ladder. Grabbing for the closest shirt, not caring if it was clean or not, he headed up the rungs with it clenched in one hand. Once in the hall way he tugged it on after locking his bunk. Heading to the galley he found Inara dressed in a silk robe, pouring hot water in a tea kettle, all the signs she was readying herself for bed or a client. Jayne smirked at the thought she was headed for bed either way.

"Jayne," she said with a smile. "I had given you up for dead."

His head snapped up to look at her, a bag of protein snaps he was reaching for forgotten. "Shu mu?"

"You were in your bunk all day today," she said in a way of explain. "I..we..everyone figured you were just exhausted from the last job," she explained why no one checked on him.

"What time is it?" he asked, dragging the bag from the cupboard.

When she told him, his eyes about fell out of his head. He had been sleeping for almost 30 hours straight. "You ok?" she asked putting a lid on the teapot. "Would you like me to get Simon? He only just-"

Jayne shook his head. "No. Thanks though, 'Nara. I'm just tired. I woke up tired. You ever get that way?" he asked trying to deflect.

She smiled and nodded picking up her tray. "Have a good evening Jayne," she called over her shoulder.

Jayne grunted something in reply, picking up an empty mug and moved toward the engine room, looking for some of Kaylee's engine gun rot to ease his whirling mind a little. The lights were off in the whole ship but Jayne knew how to get where he was going. Hell, he didn't even flip on the lights in the engine room, he just walked down the aisle, his mug in hand, the emergency lighting giving him enough to go by to turn on the spigot. The whirl got louder as the liquid in his mug got higher. He didn't know why he was tempting the beast with alcohol. It wasn't a wise move of him at all but then again no one ever accused Jayne Cobb of being a smart man.

A quick intake of breath, a hiss and a low drawn out moan over the sounds of the engine brought his attention around. Quicker than he could blink, Jayne had the spigot off and his boot knife in his hand, never even making the liquid in his cup swirl as he turned to see where the noise came from. What the great tracker's eyes had missed on the way in was the hammock swinging low with the weight of someone in it. That someone now stared at him with lust filled chocolate eyes as she drew a hand from her neithers. That drew his attention to a rather ingenious looking homemade toy still lodged safely in Kaylee.

"Wanna help me out here, Jayne?" she asked blatantly, knowing he wouldn't turn something like this down.

Jayne stared at her long and hard. He had thought many nights about bedding the mechanic. Had listened to her and the doctor go at it more than once, and wished himself in the docs position. And the way she said his name made him rise. He gripped the mug tighter and walked out of the engine room.

"Jayne!" Kaylee hissed, not believing he actually left her half dressed and horny as fuck. She had long dreamed of finding away to get him to walk in on her like that. Never in her dreams did he choose a mug of liquor over her. "Hun dan!" she swore.

Jayne ignored her and continued down the stairs into the cargo bay. There was a reason he stuck with whores. Women like Kaylee didn't deserve him. No woman deserved him. The whores at least were paid and paid relatively well if the creature came out to play, if Jayne cant keep him reigned in. Most of the time if the beast is close to the surface, Jayne just avoids women folk, regular ones and whores alike, all together. Its much safer that way. And though Kaylee will surely despise him, he had to leave her literally to her own devices for tonight. If she got him feeling guilty enough, he might give her money toward one of those boy whores hes heard her talk about with Inara from time to time.

Sitting below the stairs in the cargo bay, Jayne pressed his back to the wall, enclosing himself to the darkness, listening to the silence of the ship, willing his whirling brain to shut the fuck up.

He took a long draw out of his cup and when he next glanced inside of it, it was half empty. The liquor hit his empty stomach and spread quickly like wild fire through is body. Relaxing in the warmth he held his breath and finished the mug off. His whole form turned to liquid warmth and he hear footsteps head down the stairs above his head. He tensed and tried to make himself as small as he could.

When he next opened his eyes, he realized he wasn't alone in that little section of the cargo bay. He was crouched over a naked female body, covered in blood, unmoving. The smell of blood was overwhelming. He looked at his hands and his naked chest, all of which were drenched, blood ran rivers through through the hairs on his body.

He looked down at Kaylee below him. Oh god Kaylee. He wiped his hands on his naked thighs, trying to remove the sticky clotting blood from his hands. He brushed at her hair, pushing it out of her face but with each swipe more and more of stuck to his hands. "Kaylee, baby," he muttered to the open-eyed, unmoving woman lying on the floor. Jayne grabbed her naked shoulders and lifted her limp body up, getting no response. "No, no, no, no, no, no," he muttered to no one at all as he looked at the shape she was in and took in the state he was in. Kaylee wide eyed and open mouthed, her throat bruised where two hand shaped bruises met in the middle. Her perfectly round breasts were covered in bruised bite marks.

Jayne felt the bile in his stomach rise as he looked lower and took a quick glance a his blood coated John Thomas. Kneeling beside her, he placed a hand outside of either knee, pressing her legs together. Instead of just sliding back together, her skin stuck and caught to the blood on the grating. He dry heaved once before accomplishing his task and turning away to vomit.

When Simon walked into the infirmary the next morning, it didn't surprise him to see a body covered in a white cloth. This had been one of River's favorite games for months. "What did you die of this time?" he asked the white shroud. "Mumps? Or maybe chickenpox?" She seemed to have a fondness for the diseases of old.

When River didn't respond, Simone pulled back the cloth to reveal Kaylee fully clothed in her overalls, laying on his table, Roger under her crossed hands. He realized she was dead but one touch told him how long dead she was. Tears were blinked away as he looked her over. The bruising at her neck was all he could see. As he moved to the intercom to raise Mal and Zoe, he saw a note attached to the bear in Kaylee's arms. "Ask River" was written in Jayne's hand. Simon took off to River's room and found her bound and gagged to her bed.

"Jayne do this to you?" he asked in his panicky brother voice as he pulled the gag from her mouth.

"No, the other," she said calmly.

Simon fully examined Kaylee's body and quickly determined that Jayne had killed her either shortly after or while he raped her. Mal, Zoe and Book searched the ship from stem to stern and found no evidence of the merc still on board. It was assumed he spaced himself before Mal could have the pleasure. His belongings were inventoried and crated, emptying his bunk. The only items of note missing were his boots, boot knife, Vera, jacket and the hat his ma had sent him. However River took to sleeping with Roger and one night came to find him missing. She chose to not tell anyone. That was between her, Roger, and Serenity.


End file.
